Oops!!

Sorry..Won't be here for sometime..Something important came up..Will be away for a couple of days!!!!Thanks for dropping by!!! :)

God's own Coundree!

Chances are that when you meet me for the first time,you would assume that I'm a north indian least of all a keralite.Coming from kerala does not mean I have to have the heavy malayalee accent that people uniquely associate us with.During my first year of college,a couple of my malayalee friends mistook me for a north indian and started conversing in hindi as best as they could.I cleared all their doubts with my version of weirdly accented malayalam which i have since then been uniquely associated with.The trouble is,I'm in no man's land.My hindi isn't perfect enough and my malayalam is an abomination.
Moving ahead,a good friend of mine gets a kick out of watching Lolakutty in Mtv decided to pick on me(i fondly refer to her as a mallu basher)by giving me a list of words and asking me to read it out loud for her.All these words were carefully chosen(i bet after weeks of research) so as to bring out my hidden malayalee accent which she firmly believed was in my blood.I'll list some of the words for you-

1. Cauliflower
2. Goal
3. Knowledge
4. College
5. Jumped
6. Loving
7. MBA (apparently she was expecting me to read it out as Yem Bee Yay)
8. Going
9. Boeing
10. Coming

Well,she was right.I did have an hidden malayalee accent afterall,somewhere deep inside me.In the process of reading out these words,i faltered.I never heard the end of it ever.I still get calls fom her,late in the night asking me to say 'Ford' out loud or making me hear the endless malayalee jokes that she came across.It doesn't quite annoy me,after all I am a malayalee and chances are that we are there at every nook and corner of the world.

Late night TV: Hijacked by infomercials

I'm more of a night person,and being so I find that most of my free time is after hours when everyone goes to sleep.With nothing productive to do during that time,I turn towards the idiot box for some quality entertainment.It was during one such exercise that I came across the world of infomercials.Almost all the major channels are hijacked by these infomercials during the late night slot.Although i never bothered to stay up and check till what time these never-ending commercials go on,It was on till 3am before I lost patience and fell asleep!
My tolerance level is quite high and i can usually gather the patience to withstand a lot of irritable stuff(having a younger sibling helps in this regard).But the kind of infomercials and their style of advertising is so full of utter nonsense that even I started to squirm in my seat.After a point,I decided to sit through it and rant about it in my blog(Reason:Recession,nothing better to do).
Almost all major TV channels had given their late night slots to these so called infomercials.Although it does make sense in a business point of view(in terms of revenue generated from ads),I wish they had the sense to realize that there are people tuning in even during the night time. The channels that air these commercials run disclaimers warning that 'the following program is a paid advertisement so as not to mislead the viewer.
But most importantly,this kind of unmoderated kamikaze style advertising tend to dilute the brand image of the channel telecasting it,I lost respect to a couple of so called 'educational' channels this way.
Coming back to the topic,Infomercials are long-format television commercials, typically five minutes or longer. Infomercials are also known as paid programming (or teleshopping in Europe). Originally, they were a phenomenon that started in the United States where they were typically shown overnight (usually 2:00 a.m. to 6:00 a.m.) --- outside of peak hours. Some television stations chose to air such programming as an alternative to the former practice of sign-off. By 2009, most US infomercial spending is during early morning, daytime, and evening hours. Stations in most countries around the world have instituted similar media structures.(Source:Wikipedia)
Most of the ads that they are in India are the dubbed version of the US/UK ads in vernacular languages.The lip syncing and the translation can be hilarious.The locally produced ads aren't that better off either,they are equally funny with their presentation. The products that are sold through this channel includes shoe soles that claim to increase your height to slimming equipments to tone your bodies.Not to mention the 'discounts' and 'freebies' that they have to offer if you place the offer 'right now'.
Although I agree that I have no authority to judge the validity of their claims without trying them out,I am not in favour of such forms of aggressive advertising that encashes on people's shortcomings.Most of these ads,start off with underscoring people's shortcomings and making them sound as if one's life revolves around it and is responsible for all of their miseries.Then they introduce their product as the magic wand that drives all of these miseries away.The tall claims and effectiveness of the product is backed up against a number of 'real life' narrations.
Here is an interesting take on the pitch lines uses by these commercials (Source:Wikipedia)

• "Would you pay..." (lists large and outrageous amounts that quickly decline before the announcer rejects the past prices and hypes the lowest price possible)
• "This revolutionary product..."/"Introducing the revolutionary (product)"/"It's truly revolutionary!"
• "Are you tired of..." (announcer goes into list of faults of other similar products, which are avoided or solved by their product)
• "But wait!", "But wait there's more!", or "But that's not all!" (after pitching one deal and before pitching another, better deal. For example: "But Wait! Call in now and we'll knock off one payment/make first payment for you and add (product)"
• "Supplies are limited, and this deal is available for only (number of minutes before end of program)..." (Note that these supposedly time-sensitive deals are usually not time-sensitive, as these infomercials are almost always videotaped, and air at different times on many stations nationwide.)

Now imagine all this in Hindi and it gives you the content being churned out by the domestic players(with equally bad actors).
I'm not against infomercials,as it gives you an oppurtunity to get to know our product and make a decision from the comforts of your home.But I wish it was limited to that,instead of this 'your-world-is-going-to-end-without-this-product' approach thaat is widely telecasted.In addition to this,these ads must be monitored for false claims to prevent the gullible from getting cheated.

Image source:http://www.savagechickens.com/images/chickencouchbot2.jpg

Salman Con - Conman on the loose!

Before I get into the details,here's a little background about conmen.According to wikipedia, confidence trick or confidence game is an attempt to defraud a person or group by gaining their confidence.The term conman(or confidence man) was coined by the american press during the trial of one William Thomson,who won confidence of strangers and led them into parting with their valuables after gaining their trust.Although it seems quite impossible as to how victims fall for their schemes,an experienced conman has the confidence,skill and the charishma to win your confidence with his words and his act.Afterall,if someone comes upto you and confidently says that you have a patch of ink on your nose,you do tend to fall for it.Conning is just taking this to a whole new level for financial gain.
That's the background for my post.I've been observing reports in the newspapers, about a certain conman whose modus operandi is to con people using the name of popular bollywood actor Salman Khan.He has conned three victims till now,and is still going at it.
He approached them with either an offer to act in one of Salman Khan's movies or a chance to meet the bollywood actor face to face.He would then take the victim to a beauty salon and ask them to get a haircut or a face pack so that they are 'presentable' in front of the actor.The funny thing is,he managed to convince an Indian male(who still prefer to look raw) to step into a salon for a make over!
He would then ask them to remove their gold ornaments and watches for 'safe keeping' so that they don't get discoloured during the make-over!!The next thing you know,the victims are left with a huge salon bill with the conman not in sight and their money and gold all gone.
For the second victim,he pushed the act even further and took him shopping for new clothes and then disappeared with his belongings.Although it's still not clear whether both the acts were committed by the same man,but the unusual fetish for using the same actors name and repeating the trick despite the fact that the first act was well publicized has baffled the police.
So,the next time someone comes to you and mentions Salman Khan,you might want to have a good look at him.
Will keep you updated,this one seems to be quite slippery.

@ the railway station!

It was one of those really hot days where you wish you could just spend it indoors and have a fulfilling siesta.
Unfortunately,things have a way of taking shape and you find yourself at the railway station among the chaos of a swarm of people who believe in shoving you off their way even though they have reserved seats.Then again,this is India and paradoxes like this are quite normal and amusing too.
My purpose there was to pick up my mom and i wanted to get out of there ASAP.I had planned it down to the last minute detail,like a special forces operation.I was supposed to go in and come out within twenty minutes.I am a people person,except when there are a thousand of them swarming and walking into you and taking you with them.As they say,there is always that one unexpected variable that makes the whole equation go topsy-turvy.In this case,the train was delayed by five minutes and I was left waiting in the over crowded platform for it.I started hyper-ventilating and the over-whelming crowd seemed to be gathering around me like a bunch of blood-thirsty zombies.
After the initial feelings of annoyance,I sort of gave up and sat in one of the numerous benches lined along the platform. The scene around me was surreal,people from different walks of life,religion,positions and mannerisms all gathered under one roof(with/without a ticket)just so that they could meet their loved ones or rather escape from their daily lives to take some time off.
Maybe that's what make them like zombies,oblivious of the dirt and the sweat and the crowd.
The train started inching slowly towards the platform and I became one of them.

The storm within...

Hope isn't something you rely on,

For the storm brewing ahead,

I can't help thinking about,

The strong winds,

The stronger waves,

Waiting to tear a peaceful journey apart.

Every morning I wake up,

And suddenly,

The sun seems brighter,

The birds more chirpy,

People more pleasant,

As if things just slowed down,

And the world,

A much more beautiful place,

The kind of beauty you miss,

When you assume you're going

To be here for eternity.

And then you walk up to the mirror,

You see a stranger staring back at you,

Shattered reflections,

And all of a sudden everything just comes back!

As you try to swim against the current,

Slipping away slowly,

To the darkness within!

You learn to smile at times like these,

Though you have a hundrer odd reasons

Not to,

And then you realize,

The world before you,

And the small glimpses of joy,

That you overlooked earlier,

So you sit down and observe it,

As if you were an outsider!

The pitter-patter of the raindrops,

The rustling leaves,

The gentle wind,

The untethered laughter of a child,

And you find that

The list goes on and on.

Realization dawns slowly,

That time is eating you away,

Relentless assault each second,

Working to fade you away.

Don't shed tears when I'm gone,

Nor hold onto me,

But carry on,

Do heed the lesson inscribed on my grave,

That say-

"Here lies a fool,

Only death could teach him how to live."

His best performance yet...

The soothing music,

Moving sensuously,

Among the dimmed light,

The shadows lay there dormant,

Hypnotized by the sound,

And the light.

The curtain rises-

Slow and steady,

Revealing the picture within

A stage and a setting,

For the journey ahead.

His Anxious wait,

To play his part,

Comes to an end with the tune of the harp.

A sea of people move gracefully onstage,

Perfectly synchronized,

Amidst the sighs and astonishment of the shadows.

He moves around,

Searching for his intented pair,

Only to be left alone,

Among a sea of destined pairs,

He curses himself and move around gracefully,

A loner in the crowd of paired up pairs,

The forced smile on his face-

Hiding the underlying dejection,

As he plays his part.

He goes around in circles,

Desperate and lost,

But the show must go on,

Among the sea of destined pairs.

His partner,

Misplaced or mislead?

Nobody cares,

In this vaudevillian extragavanza,

The shadows are content,

That's all that matters,

The light brightens,

And the curtain falls down on him.